Floating above the truth by Axl
- Share My Story
- Jan 3, 2023
- 2 min read
My entire life, I was told that I was healthy. Therapy is for those who are different, 'Special Ed' was a foriegn place I didn't enter. I was perfect, I didn't have to think about the troubles I faced. I went to a 'special' elementry school- one that helped me in many ways, but also gave me a disadvantage socially. It was an advanced school for Gifted and Talented students, where I got peers 'just like me' and teachers who helped me. They did help me, and I loved me friends- but after 5th grade, I moved, with no social skills whatsoever. In 6th grade I attended a middle school in a large, thousand kid school for about six months, with little to no social interactions and grades high as the skies. I collected a dozen hobbies and constantly filled my schedule with activities to fill the void where my social life should have been. I moved, yet again, for my second semester of 6th grade in a much smaller, and poorer, school district. I was lifted on a pedastool- finally getting attention, except being refered to as the Smart Kid and only being talked to for answers and only having one real friend. I still talked to my old friends from my first school districf, but ties were loose. I was struggling with feelings for my current girlfriend until the end of 8th grade. Covid hits, online school, speedrun 7th grade with, again, limited social interaction. 8th grade hits, I wear a mask, finally identify as gay, but wait- I'm still perfect, my brother has anxiety, not me, I'm not stressed, just tired. What, no, I'm not nervous? Just a little voice. My feelings were dimmed, I couldn't recognize them, I can only hear the tiny voice in my head telling me things about my emotions that are not true. "Therapy will give you a label" Maybe I want a label. Maybe I want to stop floating above the truth.
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